Hope after despair

I don't normally try to tackle such momentous events, but my heart is heavy. The events from Friday are still fresh and on the forefront of minds, hearts, and prayers.

The darkness surrounding Friday’s tragedy in Sandy Hook is dense, and it is a reminder that darkness is ever looming. The reality is that however unbelievable and unreal it may seem, it happened. And I do not believe Friday was part of God's plan. It was not part of God's plan for 20 innocent children and 6 innocent adults to die because of one selfish man's act of violence. God had plans, beautiful plans, for the lives of those killed, but it was the sinful act of one individual that destroyed those plans. Darkness is always present.

How do we handle hearing about such atrocity, especially during the season of Advent? How can this season of Advent help us during this time?

Advent is marked by a spirit of expectation, anticipation, preparation, and longing. It was first the Israelites who yearned for deliverance from servitude in Egypt.  It is the cry of those who have experienced the oppressiveness of injustice in a sinful world, and yet who have hope of deliverance by a God who has heard the cries of the burdened and brought deliverance. It is that hope which brings to the world the anticipation of a King, and it is that hope that was once anticipated, and now anticipates anew, the reign of a Messiah who will bring peace and justice to the world. So, how do we effectively hold this idea of hope in tension with the present darkness?

We remember that there is hope after despair. God is deeply moved, concerned, and grieves with us. We are not alone. God also grieves over this loss and tragedy. We see in Jeremiah that God grieves and is saddened by the sinfulness of his people. Because God is so involved, healing will also come. God enters deeply into the suffering human situation and works the necessary healing from within. God is active. God is present. God is healing. And for God to so enter into the mournful situation means that mourning will not be the last word spoken. We can be honest with God and enter into mourning knowing that God has also wept. We can use authentic and vulnerable language with God because he is able and willing to hear our complaints and deepest sorrows.

We are called to constantly live in tension. We must be light in the darkness. We must be beacons of hope for those who are suffering. With faithful expectancy, restoration and hope will arise. As we hold grief in one hand, Advent calls us to remain hopeful and anticipate the coming of the Lord. We live in tension with what is and what will one day be.

I cling to the hope of restoration, and this hope is the light I hold against the darkness.

Happy One Year, CUDS!

Yesterday marked my one-year anniversary as a student at Campbell Divinity School. Though many moments seemed to make the transition into theological education real, the day I entered my first class was when it became validated. When I walked into that class, Introduction to Theological Education with Dr. Cogdill, I realized that I was exactly where God had called me, despite my fears, anxiety, and apprehensions.

This letter from Kelly changed my life.

My first day at Campbell was filled with many wonderful moments that make it memorable – we sang happy birthday to Kelly Jorgenson, there was an earthquake (though I never felt it), and I found out that my oldest brother was engaged.  Singing happy birthday to Kelly in the lobby of Taylor Hall was probably the most memorable part of my first day, though. Before I arrived at Campbell, Kelly Jorgenson’s voice was my favorite voice to hear. The day I received the phone call from her telling me I had been accepted to Campbell Div. and I was a recipient of a scholarship, I was in tears. Her emails, calls, and personal cards always made and make me feel like I am a special member of the CUDS family.

Durham Bulls game with Campbell friends.

What I have learned while here is that these special moments are not uncommon in this community. During this past year I have been blessed with a family when I needed one the most. Lunch dates with staff members, end-of-the-semester cookouts and dinners at professors’ houses, long talks with another student about his/her journey, and countless hours spent studying together for tests – this is what makes Campbell feel like home to me. The “Christ-Centered, Bible-Based, and Ministry-Focused” mission statement binds the students, professors and staff at CUDS.

CUDS family!

I have grown in many ways during my time at Campbell Divinity because of the balance between academic rigor and spiritual formation. Even through the stress of paper writing and studying, I realize how blessed I am to be a part of the best community of peers, professors and staff. It was not always easy during the past year, but that is part of this beautiful journey. Never alone – that is the promise. I am sharing this season of my life with some of the most amazing people I will ever meet. Our journey together is a small glimpse of what the church should look like -- open arms, willing to listen, willing to give of our time, and growing alongside other believers -- and we will take this part of our journey into our present and future ministries.

For this season in my life, I am thankful.

[Side note for my professors: do not critique my writing in this blog post, please.]