Use your words

"Use your words." This is the phrase I say at least once while I'm babysitting, working with children at church, or spending time with my nieces and nephews. I remind them of the importance of using the necessary words to describe what they're trying to relay to me and also the importance in making sure that they are kind words.

Using your words is sometimes easier said than done, especially when it comes to yourself.

We can be very particularly judgmental of ourselves because nobody hears those harsh words. We whisper those harsh words of self-condemnation when we look in a mirror and we don't like the reflection, or we may whisper those harsh words in our minds when someone walks by and we become jealous of his/her beauty. These oppressive words we speak to and about ourselves can be detrimental in living out our calling as children of God.

This reminder of how we see ourselves and speak about ourselves was brought to my attention again last week when Dove released their newest campaign for beauty. In this campaign, they had a forensic artist come in and sketch the women using only the description of themselves that they provided. These same women were then asked to spend time with other individuals who were intentional about studying these women. The sketch artist then asked the other individuals to describe the women they had met and he drew another sketch. The two portraits were drastically different.

When asked to describe themselves, the women were quick to note the faults they see when they look in the mirror -- a protruding chin, big forehead, or a round face. Their descriptions of themselves did not match what they really look like. They saw themselves through a distorted lens because of the words they speak to and about themselves daily. These negative, fault-finding words create people who are self-oppressed and hurting.

We find it easy to compliment others and tell them how beautiful they are. We often think before we speak to others, but we don't take the time to do it before we speak to ourselves.

We are children of God, who are fearfully and wonderfully made. To look into a mirror and use any other words to describe what we see is tainting the image God wants us to see.

The questions we should ask ourselves before we speak, even when we're speaking to ourselves:
1) Is it true?
2) Is it helpful?
3) Is it inspiring?
4) Is it necessary?
5) Is it kind?

Don't use words with yourself you wouldn't say to someone else. Guard what you say to yourself, be kind to yourself, and "use your words."

Type A, much?

Those who know me know that I have a "Type A" personality. I like control, order, and perfection -- I won't settle for anything less.

Planning and organizing are some of the things I do best. I have far too many lists, but that is how I operate and thrive. Give me a pen and paper and I can make a "must accomplish these things" list for any area of my life. I have my list of things to accomplish every day. I have a list of goals I want to accomplish concerning school work. I have a list of life-long goals I want to accomplish, specifically concerning ministry. I even have a bucket list, though some things on it will never will get marked off of it.

I have so much I want to accomplish, and I seem to think that if I plan enough then maybe God will get the memo and get on my schedule, though I know this is not how it works. I find myself being disappointed when my planning becomes futile as my lists get longer and my goals farther away.

It's not that planning is wrong. Without lists and planning, I would probably forget to eat (seriously, I don't know why this is something I forget to do) and finish school assignments. The problem arises, however, when planning becomes less about organization and more about worry. When things don't work out the way I want or at the specific time that I want, then I'm flooded with unnecessary emotions -- I'm uneasy, baffled, angry, overwhelmed, and discouraged -- and it is exhausting.

So, this afternoon I decided that I was going to take the time and simply sit at the feet of Jesus, free of lists and other constraints. There was more freedom, peace, and comfort during this time than any amount of time I've spent trying to create peace of mind with my copious amounts of lists. It is a comfort held in the promise whispered from God, "I am in control."

I probably won't stop writing lists, or I will forget important things I need to do, but I am working on freeing myself from the unnecessary chains of worry that I have created with my self-constraining lists. God is in control, and I want to be open to go in whatever direction God leads.

With this in mind, I've created one to-do list for tomorrow and it has only one thing written: trust God.